I decided to give the Body Wrappers convertible tights another go-round.
They arrived in the mail today (along with some elastic and ribbon so I can finally [finally!!!] get the custom Freeds on the dance floor).
I want to meet the copy editor who wrote up the packaging for these things.
Because according to them these tights have a… wait for it… “hygienically superior gusset.”
You hear that? Hygienically SUPERIOR!!! I guess I’ll be grateful that they used the word “gusset” rather than my preferred term for that area of the tights. Bwahahahaa… if we could all be so blessed 😉
Oh, we may also note the “no sag spandex” and “recovery action” featured in these tights. Wow!
The back of the package starts getting a bit passive-agressive, though. It advises me that these are “value tights” that “provide an economical entry to the superior Body Wrappers tight line of products.”
Gee, why don’t they just write on them, “Golly, you are a cheap bugger, aren’t you? If you bought the more expensive tights you could be a great dancer, but I guess you are satisfied with mediocrity, eh?!”
It’s not all bad news, though. They tell me I can wear these under my leotard (so… Body Wrappers opposes the tights OVER leo look? probably a good corporate stance) everyday (I’m guessing due to that hygienically superior gusset!) for class, performance and recital for “Performance At Its Best!” (odd capitalization copied verbatim).
Well, then… here’s wishing you all superior performances and hygienic gussets!