A few bucks
Take self and good friend and put in car early in day. Drive to local diner you have always wanted to try but never got around to. Eschew healthy breakfast option you planned to eat when you looked the menu up online for the breakfast special called “Cherry Pie Waffle” at the encouragement of friend who is choosing the banana pancakes with walnuts and caramel sauce. Accept offer of whipped cream on said breakfasts. Laugh with sassy waitress. Laugh at the world. Laugh at the fact that your “breakfast” includes ice cream. Enjoy heartily. Return self and friend to car. Go to bank to deposit tax refund. Call local salon and schedule a pedicure for an hour from now. Go to salon. When the person performing pedicures offers a drink and one of the options is wine, choose the wine. Relax. Enjoy. Laugh at the fact that you just slurped your wine too fast. Laugh at the cheap sandals you have been given and the funny way they make you walk. Laugh at the fact that, because it is still cold out and you will soon have to put on shoes and socks, there is no possible way that your nail polish will remain unmarred, and you don’t really care because no one will see your toes for a few months anyway… this was really all about the foot massage. Return to car. Go to discount shoe store. Try out the new pedicure in a variety of shoes, preferably fun, impractical shoes. Buy deeply discounted shoes which are probably uncomfortable, but too cute and cheap to pass up. Laugh about cute shoes. Laugh about the fact that you keep repeating statements that “These shoes would be perfect if only [insert complaint here, which may include: big-ass bow on the toe, ugly color, heel height, pinchy-toes].” Return to car. Go home. Wait for dinner. Look up fun stuff to do on the internet. Look up inspirational videos of large, wild cats on YouTube. Sniffle at cute video. Laugh at other stuff that you can’t remember, but damn, it was funny. Wait for friend’s fiance to show up. When said dude shows up, return to car and drive to a bar/restaurant appropriate for the season (i.e. an Irish bar for St. Patrick’s day). Shrug when the hostess informs you of the ridiculously long wait. Buy a beer. Laugh. Get seated. Eat deep-fried fish because hey, it’s fish, fish is good for you. Enjoy heartily. Laugh some more. Return to car and drive home. Hug friend and her beloved and say goodbye. Go to bed. Wake up next morning and be happy that abs are sore because you laughed so much and decide that more than makes up for the fact that you never got around to exercising during your lovely day.