Three sets of initials

That’s right… I now have three sets of initials after my name: MS, RN, CNL. Added the last set this week after taking the clinical nurse leader certification exam. It was one of those tests that you can’t really study for, but at the same time we’ve been spending our entire time in school preparing for it. Passing that test felt like I’d put the bow on the whole package of the last two years. Now to build the skill sets to add some legitimacy to all that alphabet soup!

Unfortunately the last week or so has been a bit of a wash. After not getting sick for over two years I had developed the erroneous notion that I was somehow super-immune and would never be sick again. On New Year’s Day I had started feeling like I got sick, but after a couple glasses of Emergen-C I was back to full force again. This only served to bolster my immunity arrogance. But this past Monday I woke up with a vaguely sore throat and it went downhill throughout the rest of the week. I called out of work on Wednesday, but felt like I had to go in on Thursday… I was signed up to renew my BLS certification and had signed up for a mandatory code of conduct training, so I went in, did a couple hours in quality. I decided I wasn’t really feeling all THAT bad… even went down to Big City for an event with my local undergrad alumni group. Friday I woke up convinced that I felt better. I went to work since I’d only scheduled myself for an 8-hr day thinking it couldn’t possibly be that bad. My coworkers essentially turned me around at the door and sent me back home. It was just as well… I felt worse as the day went on. Saturday was more of the same. I’m finally beginning to feel slightly more normal today. Even dragged myself out of the house to go to the grocery store where I bought all sorts of yummy-sounding things only to find out that nothing I eat has any flavor to it. Dratted stuffy nose.

On the work front… I am hoping there might be some new developments. Nothing has been stated directly to me, but I know a coworker in my, um, preferred department of work, is transferring to another location in our network. My boss there asked me about my normal schedule on my, um, less preferred department of work. I am wondering if they are wanting to give me more hours, which I would gratefully snap up in exchange for fewer hours in the other place. As you can see, I’m still struggling with my transition to the bedside job and wondering whether I’d be better off in an area of nursing where I didn’t hold such strong personal convictions (particularly strong convictions that run so counter to the mainstream way of practicing in the hospital setting). For a while I thought that I’d want to be a midwife and I thought I would be able to do the L&D thing for a couple years to get the experience before I went back to school, but throughout school I found my interest in midwifery waning as my interest in leadership and administration increased. And with that interest in administration I am wondering if I would be better served by working in a more generalized setting (i.e. med-surg). All this swirls in my head. I know that I’m at the point in my career where I’m vulnerable to grass-is-greener syndrome because I’m still in the novice stage. That being said, I knew on day one of career #1 that it wasn’t what I wanted to do, and I ended up sticking it out for 6 years of generally feeling miserable about myself and my work ethic. I don’t want to go down that road again. Trying to find balance between being flighty and pursuing what I want. It’s a fine line to walk.

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