The new grad internship program officially started last week, although I only attended one of the days since it was all the generic orientation stuff. This week we are getting into the thick of it. Monday was a classroom day and, I have to admit, a wee bit snoozeriffic. Lots of checklists were passed out, more discussion about patient satisfaction (have I mentioned that I’ve presented patient satisfaction at our hospital’s skills fair and new employee orientation as well as for a class at school?). The med-surg nurses got to meet their preceptors. And I will mention here that I’m a tiny bit wishing that I’d gone for med-surg after all. It’s a feeling that’s been nagging at me for a while now. On the one hand I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do maternity, but on the other I’m wanting to take care of sick people. There are some sick people in maternity, but not many. Then I remember what I really want to be doing: NICU. Maternity is nice, but I really want to take care of the sick babies. I think I’m secretly an adrenaline junkie.
Today was a unit day. I’m out of the nursery now, but my postpartum preceptor didn’t happen to be working. And it was a little crazy on the floor. The nurses that were on postpartum apparently don’t like to teach. One of them said I could follow her around, but she wouldn’t teach me anything. Awesome, because there’s nothing I like better than following people around staring at them all day. I mean, I am not totally stupid. I can at least help with some of the baby stuff, I know that! On the other hand, you don’t want to teach? Well, fine, I probably don’t want to learn from you, either. I got pushed off onto a labor nurse who was going in on a scheduled section. She was very nice about it, but again, it’s not like I was going to learn a lot because I’m not going to be doing labor for some time yet. Argh.
I found our unit educator shortly after we came out of the PACU and was able to get her to rescue me by going over the safety checklist which took up a surprising amount of time. She had some CD-ROMs on maternity stuff that she loaned me. I found myself a corner with a free computer and holed up there with the CDs, taking a break to go down to a lunch meeting on geriatric pain (which is so completely irrelevant to maternity, but at that point I was going to take any excuse to get off the floor that I could). In retrospect, I probably should have just gone down to the special care nursery and hung out with them. They would have let me play. Pardon me, is my attitude showing?
Hopefully things will pick up. I see a mock code on the schedule for tomorrow. That is promising. And there’s IV stuff on Thursday. I am itching to stick a needle in someone’s vein (though I sincerely hope that this hospital does not operate on the theory of practicing on your fellow colleague because that’s just creepy). And I think my preceptor is on the schedule for Friday, the next time we’ll be on the unit. I’m trying to stay positive about this… I know that these feelings of ambivalence are normal. But quite honestly, there are times that I wish I could just walk away and not come back. Or that I could just do my quality stuff forever. I spent today feeling rather grumpy thinking about all the work I could be doing downstairs and yet this new grad crap was holding me hostage on the unit with nothing to do.
Sigh… tomorrow’s another day. And I just ordered a bunch of new scrubs. So I guess I can’t quit just yet. :b