Break ended up being less of a time for relaxation and more of a time for reflection on things I didn’t have time to think about during the hectic weeks of nursing school. Reflection is a good thing, of course, but it’s a challenging and emotional process and takes a huge toll when it’s uninterrupted. I got back to school on Tuesday and one of my friends grabbed my shoulder saying, “You’re too skinny… what happened over break?” I told her it had been a rough week thinking about everything. I’d thought about calling her up and seeing what she was up to, but I didn’t want to bother her. “You should have!” she told me. “We have an open door policy at our house… I’m just home during the day with the babies. You’re always welcome to come over, I hope you know that.” Acceptance. I know I don’t open myself up to it often enough. I would rather be alone than risk hearing “No, thanks.” Sometimes I think I try to protect myself too much. Luckily I’m usually content to be on my own and it doesn’t bother me. But there are times, like now, when you need that circle of people to rally around and lift you up. It felt good to have someone offer to be in that circle.
This Saturday I went up to the hometown to hang out with my best friend from high school. We both had a lot to talk about and I ended up staying there until 1:30 in the morning. It consistently amazes me that our lives have taken different twists and turns and yet we have remained able to connect and support each other through it. We had a good amount of time after her kiddo went to bed to share the things that have been going on in our lives. It helped me to think about my own situation in new and different ways, which is a good thing. We also talked about taking a weekend away sometime this summer. I think we’re both in sore need of a vacation.
Then today I got a surprise phone call from my old roommate. She’s in school full-time, too, so we don’t get nearly enough time to catch up with our busy schedules. But it was nice to have a chance to talk. She was so much fun to live with. We could talk for hours railing about the weirdness of the world and the people in it and at the same time marvelling at the beauty and wonder of it all. She’s been a relentless cheerleader in my life and that feels pretty darned good especially when all you feel like doing is flipping the bird at the world.
So, friends are good. However, procrastinating writing papers is not… I’ve been doing it for weeks now, so here goes a feeble attempt at working on it some more. Here’s to Risk Analysis Theory as a Tool to Evaluate the Usage of Complementary Therapies (or something like that). Yeah, that got you excited, didn’t it?