Getting closer
One class is done! Yippee! And I don’t have to write any more reflective journals this semester! Double yippee!! And I have this week off! Triple yippee!!!
The health systems & leadership class ended Saturday. That was the class that took place over four all-day Saturday affairs. It’s always a long day, but the last one was exceptionally long since we each had to do a 15-minute presentation on a subject of our choice. In general they were good and I actually learned a lot, but still, 23 presentations is a lot to sit through at once. I think mine went fairly well, though. I got quite a few positive comments on my patient satisfaction topic… granted they were from my friends, but it was still nice to hear. And I decided to use the day as an excuse to wear my cute new suit.
We have come such a long way. I was remembering back to the stress I was feeling last year at this time. I didn’t know what the point of half of our classes was and I had all these projects and tests to finish up. I was so overwhelmed. Now I’m actually feeling ready. I’m ready to move on into my first job as an RN (nervous as hell, but ready) and I’m ready to move on into the last few classes and do my final leadership project. I’m finally seeing the point of going the route that I went to become a nurse. I’m finally buying into this whole clinical nurse leader thing and understanding why we get a master’s degree out of all of this. As I look forward into my career I can see so many options. It’s such a liberating feeling after my old career where I constantly felt that I wasn’t living up to my potential and yet I didn’t care enough to even try.
I will be very sad to leave my clinical, even though I’ll be staying at the same hospital. The entire department has been terrific and really made me feel like a part of the group rather than “just a student.” They took me out for dinner on Thursday and got me a card and a subscription to the Journal of Obstetrical, Gynecological, and Neonatal Nursing, which I’m excited about. My first professional journal subscription! My preceptor is out for most of this week and part of next, so I’m taking some vacation time for myself. I did finish reading the pharmacology study book that I was supposed to finish last week so I’m just waiting for word from my virtual instructor about what I need to do next.
Pretty much all I have left for the semester academically is class next Monday. The morning class should be easy enough, just a wrap-up of the semester. I’m done writing reflective journals, thank goodness. I used to like those things, but they just get more and more arduous as time goes on. Then our last epidemiology/decision-making class is that afternoon. We have a take-home test for that class and I think we have to write a short paper stating what we did to meet the goals of the class or something. This is so much less stressful that then end of the other semesters! I like it!
Ugly scrubs
In my newly-employed frenzy I went to a uniform store with one of my friends to check out some new fashions for the floor. I emerged feeling vastly underwhelmed. I apparently need to accept that nursing uniforms are ugly buggers and deal. But why? Why do they have to be so ugly? Why are they made with the same amount of tailoring as a brown paper bag? Why do they need to be made out of material that feels like a brown paper bag? Why do they make me look like a little kid trying on mom’s clothes? I am not THAT small! I tried on one top that managed to make me look both pregnant and anorexic at the same time. WTF?!?! And the pants! Oh woe the pants! Elastic waists are the norm, apparently (because I love wearing a tourniquet around my waist, don’t you?). Since I am rather small in the waist area that means there is a lot of billowy fabric around the hip section. I do not need to look like I have a bustle, thank you. One pair of pants made me look like I had a rooster tail because of all the extra butt fabric! Oh, and the crotch hanging down around mid-thigh is also rather irritating. Argh. And finally, the patterns and the colors. I do not do bright and I do not do cutesy. And here I am caught in a sea of clothes in all colors of rainbow sherbet and covered in floral prints galore. Ugh. Barf-o-rama. Yes, I am being petulant, thank you for noticing.
I will perhaps try some other stores this week. There are supposedly some brands that have a bit more style, so maybe I can find something that doesn’t make me look like I got swallowed by the fabric department at Wal-Mart. Pooey. It’s not like I want to go back to the days of white dresses, but at least they looked professional! I would like to look professional, not… well, scrubby!
Enough about that. Been trying to NCLEX this weekend… I bombed a practice pharmacology assessment a week or so ago, so was assigned to go through the test-prep program’s pharmacology book one chapter a day. Of course, I did not actually own said pharmacology book and had to order it online (thankfully found it for $5, woot!) and wait for it to get here. I’m now trying to blast through the thing to get it read on-schedule, but I swear that every time I pick it up I fall asleep. It’s not the most exciting reading in the world. I have a presentation coming up on Saturday that I need to get working on, too. Ha. I’ll be scrambling on Friday night to put something together that looks reasonable, most likely. At least that class will be done after that!
The semester really is almost over, incredible! Now that I’ve got the job thing settled I at least know which state I’ll be applying for my initial license in and I’ve got the form pretty much ready to go, just need the appropriate signatures from the powers that be at school. I registered online for the NCLEX, too. I won’t have a date until the state tells them I’m clear to sit for it, but at least the initial process is out of the way (and $200 more of my imaginary money has disappeared). I’ve started having nurse dreams, too. Dreams where I find myself working on a unit (strangely, it’s been the telemetry unit, NOT the maternity unit!) trying to take care of patients without having any real preceptor or assignment. It’s been somewhat amusing, actually. In part of my dream last night I was trying to get a patient cleaned up because the Alvin Ailey dance troupe was coming to visit him after their performance. How does my mind manage to make up this stuff and yet I can’t come up with a simple presentation for class? Madness.
A done deal… sorta
My preceptor had gone missing for a bit this morning, so I decided to wander up to the birthing center on the off chance that the director would be in her office. We’d been trying to set up some time to chat and hadn’t yet been successful. Half an hour later she was showing me around the unit and introducing me to the staff as “our new grad.” The whole thing was incredibly informal. I’m not complaining, though I wouldn’t have minded an opportunity to bust out my cute new suit that I bought specifically for job-hunting (it was sadly wasted on the dumb job fair…). Still need to finalize things with HR, but I’m considering myself to be unemployed no longer!
Here’s what I know about the job so far. I’ll start soon after I pass my boards, hopefully beginning of June (I’m planning to take them as soon as I possibly can). I’ll get oriented to the regular nursery first, spend maybe a month there, then orient to postpartum. I’ll work on my own in postpartum for a while until I’m comfortable with it and then I’ll orient to labor & delivery, which I’m sure will be quite intense. Sometime in there (July, I believe) the official hospital new grad program will start up, and I’ll be participating in that. It should be interesting, seeing as I’m the only new grad representing the birthing center and I expect most of the others will be med-surg, but I’m looking forward to it. If nothing else I’ll finally learn how to start an IV. Hospitals around here aren’t big on having students start them, so we never went over it in school.
I was briefly bummed because the director said that she doesn’t include special care nursery in the new grad program. Sick babies are my main interest, of course, so I was not happy to hear this, but when I asked if I might have an opportunity later on to cross-train she said that she’d add it on to my program. I guess the only reason she doesn’t generally include it is because a lot of nurses just don’t want to work in that area. Ask and ye shall receive!
The director showed me around the unit. I’d seen most of it before, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to see it through someone else’s eyes and I did get to see some things I hadn’t noticed before. I got a chance to meet some of the staff, too, which was nice. The nurse I had shadowed up there last month was on today and said, “So, I guess you enjoyed your day up here then?” I also met my future postpartum preceptor and realized that she was the one who had snagged me that day to ask if I wanted to do an IM injection with her. I remember thinking that she seemed like a really good instructor, so I’m excited that I’ll get to work with her. She seems like quite the character… she high-fived me today and said, “I hope I like you!” All in all, I think it will be a good experience.
My preceptor seemed quite happy for me, and of course I owe this all to her. She was the one who kept mentioning my interest in maternity to the birthing center director and had become a bit of a go-between. She was telling everyone today that I was going to be working there as a nurse. It’s nice to feel wanted 
So, I guess this is all the more impetus to study for the boards. I am waiting for a pharmacology study book to get here. Stupid media mail… takes forever. I still can’t quite believe that in less than two months I may–ahem, will–be a bona fide RN.
A bird in the hand…
So, I went to a job fair today with one of my friends. I was not particularly impressed with the whole thing. I got the party line of “We only take new grads in med-surg” way too many times. I know for a fact that this is not true. My classmates and I are spending significant amounts of time in various hospitals and we know that nearly all reserve at least a few spots in critical care, maternity, ED, etc. for new grads. What I think is missed is the fact that many hospitals want to hire their own candidates first (i.e. the people that are working for them as unit secretaries or aides) and by the time the jobs are filled internally pretty much all that’s left is med-surg. Just tell me that, folks. Don’t give me the “You need to do med-surg to get your skills up.” Baloney! As one telemetry manager told me, “If you want to take care of sick babies, go take care of sick babies… med-surg isn’t really going to help you there.” And she used to take care of sick babies, so she knew of what she spoke.
The day did make me realize something, though: this “offer” (still not formal) that I’m sitting on may, in fact, be my own little gold mine. If I start out somewhere else, I probably will have to do med-surg. Not bad (I actually do like med-surg, just not the patient:nurse ratios), but not my passion. Plus, this manager knows me and I think she’s far more likely to be accomodating of my school needs while I’m finishing up my degree. So… we shall see. But at least I’m feeling better that I’ve explored some options and really am making the best choice for myself. I was talking to one of my clinical instructors (the med-surg one, coincidentally) and she encouraged me to strongly consider this job, as well. I’ve still got an app out at big city kid’s hospital and will put in an app at the NICU that I observed (and loved!) during my maternity rotation. But as the saying goes, a bird in the hand…
The NCLEX fiend
So, remember how I said I was hoping I’d find studying for a standardized test to be as fun as an actual standardized test? Well, I’ve actually been studying. This is craziness, folks! I do not study! And yet here I am… studying! I’ve been going through a book that my RN friend sent me for my birthday last year. I’ve been taking it to clinical and working on it in my downtime. And the school apparently signed us up (?) for a test-prep program. I’m waiting for the bill. Seriously, I know this cannot be free. But I’m beginning to think it might be worth it even if I do end up having to pay for it. I did a preliminary assessment and then my “virtual coach” sends me mini assessments to test me on various areas with assignments based on how I do on those. I think some of this stuff is actually beginning to stick, between the book I’ve been doing on my own and the test-prep program. I may just pass this sucker yet.
Speaking of passing the NCLEX and being able to call myself an RN… last week I had stopped in the nursing administration office at my clinical site for something. The CNO tapped me on the shoulder and told me to come into her office for a second. She went into her desk and pulled out an RN badge tag. All the nurses at this hospital have them behind their badge… the “RN” hangs below it and you can spot them from a mile away. It’s kind of cool, because some people you would never know were nurses. Like the COO… I thought it was exceptionally cool that she is an RN. And I want her job. Heh heh. Anyway, the CNO told me she wanted to make sure that I had one for “when the time comes.” So I’ve decided to carry it around with me as a talisman. I think I’ll take it to the NCLEX with me. It’s funny how they can start conversations, too. My preceptor, one of the nurse managers, and I had gone to another site in the system a couple weeks ago and traffic had turned out to be remarkably light, so we got there early and were able to stop for coffee. My preceptor had gotten up to throw her trash away when an older gentleman noticed her RN tag and said, “Oh, you’re a nurse! So, how do I look?” and we had a fun little conversation with him and his wife/lady friend.
Of course, thinking about this NCLEX-RN stuff means I’m beginning to think about the job aspect more seriously. I think I have a good shot of getting a position at the hospital I’m at now. Even better, the manager of the maternity area is holding a new grad position and has asked me if I’d be interested. How do I say “Of course!” without looking overeager? 
I am planning to keep my options open, however. I’ve got a contact at one of the big city hospitals that specializes in pediatrics and I’m also going to a job fair this week. But it is nice to know that I’ve got something in the works and even better, the manager said that she’d be willing to let me start as soon as I have my license, even if the new grad program hasn’t started yet, which is an allowance I’m not sure I’d get anywhere else, but one which I could sorely use! I’ll be sure to post an update.
In other news, the April Fool’s twins are now one year old. I told them this means no more kitten pranks, they have to act like responsible adult cats now. My lecture went in one ear and out the other. They act the same. One of them is sitting on my arm as I type this. Yikes, now she’s on both arms. Never a moment’s rest with these two. Good thing they’re cute.
Anyway, off to bed… class tomorrow.
