Luke, I am your…. wicked stepmother?!

Can I tell you how strange it is to not be preparing for a performance right now? The next show on the docket is the recital all the way in June, which means we won’t start rehearsing until at least March. I enjoy the extra free time, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a bit disconcerting. I keep feeling like I’m supposed to be somewhere. To assuage this feeling I signed up for a random college course called Medicine and Society in America. Doesn’t that get your blood pumping?!

Back to the subject of the recital.

I’m of the opinion that recitals are for kids. It’s the one show where the toddlers are allowed to parade around onstage; the one show where everyone who takes a class gets a chance to participate; the one show that doesn’t require additional time outside class to prepare. People are there to coo at the barely-out-of-babyhood kids who toddle out in their impossibly tiny tap shoes and show off their adorable antics (which are far more entertaining that whatever choreography they were supposed to be doing). People are there to see the teens wow the audience with their grown-up confidence and increasing artistry. And they’re there to see the kids that are progressing somewhere in between. They don’t really come to see the adult dancers. Not that they have a choice. There are a lot of adult classes at this school and we all get our chance to perform. But still.

In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t the performance that I get all hyped up about. It’s fun, but not the be-all, end-all of my world. For the kids, though… Wow. Starting in September it’s on everyone’s mind. They all want to know what the theme will be and agonize over having to wait months to find out (it wasn’t top secret or anything, just hadn’t been decided yet!). Once the theme is announced then the speculation starts on what their classes will play in the show. And then there are the leads. For example, last year we did Alice in Wonderland. So there was Alice, the White Rabbit, the Mad Hatter, doormice… you get the idea. In years past these parts have simply been cast by the teaching staff and posted. Well, this year they decided to cast the leads by audition. Not sure what fueled the change, but that was the decision.

The auditions were also going to be open to adults.

Was I going to audition?

Er. Um. Well. I mean…. I don’t want to take a part away from a KID. Geez. I decided to see which way the wind was blowing the day of and make my decision on the fly.

So there I was in class, the morning of the audition. After barre one of the adults comes up to me. She asks if I’m going to stay. Her oldest child has reached the level to audition so she’d be in the studio anyway for her. Figured if she was going to be there she might as well audition herself. Plus there are mother roles. The teenagers don’t want to play somebody’s MOTHER! She didn’t want to be the only adult at the audition. Please won’t I stay and audition with her so she won’t be alone?

Ooookayyyyy.

So there we are, two adults in a sea of children. The first ballet combination is impossibly long. My elderly brain would’ve needed a week’s worth of rehearsals to remember it. At least it’s followed by a grand allegro that I can reasonably perform. Then we do a lyrical combination. Oh phew, rolling on the floor looking emo! I can do that! It was an entertaining experience at any rate. Entertaining for me, that is. I was just doing this for shits and giggles and to keep my fellow AA company. Probably not so entertaining for the children for whom the recital is a Big Deal!

Monday I get a text message from AA. “We got leads!” she says. “Whose mother am I?” I ask. “You are Hansel & Gretel’s wicked stepmother!” Well, of COURSE!!! Hahaha. AA is Jack’s mother (of Jack and the Beanstalk, I assume).

The other cute part that I learned later is that Gretel is AA’s own daughter!

They also posted the class listing. One of my classes will be witches. Another, poison. I’m sensing a theme here! I surely hope I haven’t been typecast!

A Gargawho?

So my Saturday morning class is a combination of adults and the two highest levels of the children’s classes. Which generally means that it’s a bit more challenging… they expect more of the children than us oldsters That’s — of course — part of the reason I particularly enjoy that class, even though it’s usually a bit crowded.

This Saturday, during allegro we did what can best be described as a half of a gargouillade. There were a lot of giggles about the name… “A what? Oh, I thought you had a hairball!” Not nearly as many giggles as when we attempted it… “Ah, now I see why it has such an ugly name!” I guess the full-out gargouillade is defined differently depending on the school, but according to Gretchen Ward Warren it’s basically (ha! basically!) a jump where you do a double rond de jambe en l’air on one side followed by a double on the other side. She also says it’s a virtuoso movement… clearly. Because what we did mostly looked spastic and that wasn’t even the full thing! In our combination we just did a jump from fifth with a rond de jambe en l’air on one side, then pas de bourréed out of it. I barely had time to do a single rond de jambe and trying to coordinate it with the jumping… yowza.

Then during grand allegro we were supposed to end our combination with a Kitri jump. Er… a who? I mean, I’ve heard of it but really had no idea how to execute it. When I looked it up just now it’s basically just a fancy sissonne from an assemblé preparation. I wish someone had told me that then! I can do a sissonne! I guess the front leg is straight and the back leg goes into attitude and I think you’re supposed to cambré back while you do it. Kinda looks like a weird cheerleader jump. I fumbled that one… didn’t help that I ran out of room by the time that part of the combination so I did a half-hearted little sauté.

Funny, though… as demoralizing as those jumps were I loved learning them. It’s always nice to try something new and different. Might not look pretty, but every so often you stumble on some weird capability you never had. Then you can bust out your inner Stuart Larkin and run around saying: “Look what I can do!” Or… you can at least have a good laugh at your own (and your classmates’) expense.

Happy New Year 2012!

Resolution time!

Okay, so I’m not really into the word “resolution.” To me it seems far too stringent a word. It gives no latitude in which to explore your goal. It’s like taking a class that’s pass/fail, except the cut-off point for “pass” is a 100. Basically doomed for failure.

But intentions… that I can get behind. Allows you to set a foggier goal, something where, well, maybe you don’t even know exactly what the end product will look like, but you have a general idea of where you want to go. Throw it out to the universe and see what comes back.

My major intention for 2011 was to increase my involvement in dance… I think I can declare that a success! I reignited my blog. I taught my first ballet class. I performed in my first full-length ballets… and a variety of other performances. I got back en pointe for the first time in nearly 12 years and performed en pointe for the first time in over 15 years! Dance — and ballet in particular — has become such a major part of my life it’s shocking to realize that it’s only been a year since I set the intention!

So what of 2012? Will there be more dance? Well, for sure I don’t plan to cut back. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the progress I made in the past year, but I want to up the ante. Some things that have eluded me that I want to gain control of in 2012: batterie in jumps (used to love it, now it confounds me!), multiple tours (I managed to eke out lovely doubles en dehors on the left — my bad side — in warm-up class right before our final Nut performance… hoping it wasn’t just a Christmas miracle!), and confidence en pointe. So there’s that. And teaching? Well, I loved it and I’m sad that I no longer have the venue to offer my own class(es). My students have asked on occasion about restarting, but I’m not sure exactly what I want to do with that yet. Something to ponder. And performing, of course performing. Looking forward to whatever comes my way with that.

Admittedly most of my intentions for 2012 are outside the realm of dance. Career being the big one. In some ways dance managed to highlight the need to change up the career trajectory. There was the fact that I volunteered to teach ballet (no pay) and spent hours each week preparing for it, loving every minute. There was the fact that I found myself in the studio giving up large chunks of evenings and weekends for classes and rehearsals and, yeah, there were times when I would have rather done something else, but the final product made it all worth it.

It reminded me that it’s possible to enjoy hard work when you have a love for what you’re doing. Ultimately I realized that I lost sight of the reason I went into this career in the first place. I fell into the trap of, “Well, I’m good at this, so I guess I’ll keep doing it.” Which works with the whole staying-employed thing. Yay. But it doesn’t really make you want to hop out of bed in the morning. In fact, it makes you look for any plausible reason to stay in bed. Been down that road before. Not interested in staying on it. So my intention for 2012 is to turn this car around and start driving towards my goal. No more heading to a destination I don’t want to go to or taking random detours in the hopes that it might eventually take me where I want to go. So, Universe, there you go. Hope you see fit to help me out with that.

To all my readers out there, I hope that the universe sends you back lots of fodder for your intentions! May this be the best, pirouettiest year yet!

DancerEats — Sugarplums!

I have a habit I can’t quit. It’s called Bon Appetit. An ex’s mom got me a subscription years ago and I’ve tried to let it lapse a couple times, but within a month or two I’m jonesing for my fix. I blame it for turning me into a self-proclaimed foodie (though I have a few aversions that will probably prevent me from every becoming as adventurous as a true foodie should be). I always enjoyed cooking before, but it certainly expanded my culinary education.

The December issue was chock-a-block full of yumminess. I expect that this issue will be saved in all its crumpled, food-stained glory. Too many things to rip out just one or two recipes. There’s a whole section on roasts at the end that I haven’t thoroughly reviewed yet, though I may have drooled on the photos. There was also, of course, a selection of Christmas cookies, though surprisingly I wasn’t intrigued by most of them. The only one I made were the chocolate macaroons with orange ganache (and by “macaroon” they mean “macaron”… the French sandwich cookie made with almond flour, not the coconut cookie). I read somewhere that macarons are the new cupcake, i.e. the trendy food of the foodie masses. Whatever. I am pretty sure it is a trend worthy of following. I found a recipe for cassis macarons, regular macarons with cherry filling, chocolate-lavender macarons. I am ready to get all over this trend.

Anyway, the recipe that struck my ballerina heart was the one for Sugarplum-Orange and Apricot-Earl Grey Jam Tarts. For one thing, Nellie over at Knit Two, Pointe Two had been discussing jam tarts of late and I was craving them like nobody’s business! And for another thing… um, there is Sugarplum in the title! How seasonally appropriate for a wannabe ballerina! Didn’t hurt that the photo was absolutely divine. Oh, and since I was wanting to make macarons which calls for egg whites, well, I had some egg yolks that would need to find themselves a purpose and conveniently the tarts used 4 of them.

Now, I’m not entirely sure what a true sugarplum is, though from what I’ve heard it sounds nasty. Never fear, though, sugarplum here is simply plum jam with some orange zest stirred in. Quite tasty. It all sits atop a hazelnut crust, incredibly rich, but appropriately festive! Definitely going to be putting these into the holiday repertoire (the apricot Earl Grey is wonderful, too)!

Oh, and please note that, while there are nutritional facts at the end of the recipe, you would be best off not reading them. Seriously. I am sure it goes without saying that these do not qualify as diet food, nor will they be found on any detox diet. Consider this a post-performance run treat and you will not be disappointed!

Aw, nuts!

I did it, folks. I survived performing in my very first Nutcracker. Better late than never, I say!

What a long weekend. I was smart enough to take the Friday and Monday off from work to get ready & recoup respectively.

Dress rehearsal was appropriately abominable. I’ve heard that’s good luck. Or is it that a good dress rehearsal is bad luck? Regardless, yeah, it was bad. Particularly Snow. That piece marked the first time I’ve performed on stage en pointe in over 15 years. And the first time I’ve ever performed on stage in an active (albeit fake) snowstorm. Ter.Ri.Fy.Ing. My brain went on strike on top of it all, I felt disoriented and completely missed one of my entrances, the entire corps ended up in the wrong place at the end of the piece. It was a hot mess. As was I afterwards. There may or may not have been some tears on my part accompanied by fear that the director was going to come find me and throw me out on my ear (really, no one did well on this run, but I wasn’t feeling entirely rational at that moment). The rest of it went okay, but it was a stressful evening nonetheless.

Saturday morning it was off to the theater for warm up class. I love warm up class. There we are on the stage using chairs with backs that are far too short as barres, the lighting is dim, there are no mirrors and everyone is bundled up in 15 layers to fight off the cold. We are pliéing away to some random, non-ballet music (I think there may have been some Elvis) and for whatever reason it feels awfully zen and terribly professional. Invariably there are a few younger children who haven’t reached the level to participate in warm-up class yet who are scattered throughout the audience watching (and often jumping in line when we do grand allegro). It’s nice. The warm up class was cut short so we flakes could run through our piece one more time to get our timing and places right. Thankfully it went much better this time around and put us in a better frame of mind for the real show.

1pm, curtain’s up. Save for the few flakes who are also cast in the party scene, the rest of us are hanging out waiting, listening to the audio blaring over the speakers to judge when we need to start getting ready. If you looked in you’d see a room full of people in various layers of sweatpants and hoodies with fake eyelashes, crazy eye makeup, and tiaras. Quite the fashion statement. Gradually the tape and toe pads come out. Some people even go so far as to put on their pointe shoes. The music indicates that the party scene is winding down and we start to get our costumes off the rack and help one another get hooked in. Bobby pins are refastened, tulle is straightened, pointe shoe ribbons are hairsprayed and about midway through the battle scene we make our way upstairs to the stage. We crowd around the rosin box dipping toes in and grabbing pinches of rosin to rub on the heels of our tights. The last piece of cheese has been thrown, the soldiers have fired the cannon, and the mouse king is dead. The curtain closes behind Clara and the Nutcracker and while Drosselmeyer turns the Nutcracker into a prince frantic preparations take place behind the curtain. The tree is dropped and moved offstage, the backdrop is lowered and stagehands (and some snowflakes) quickly untie the strings on the forest backdrop and it is raised back up. In the span of a minute or two the stage has magically transformed from a living room into a snow-covered forest. The curtain opens and the snow queen and her cavalier are welcoming Clara and the prince to the forest and the flakes start to fall. Backstage there are 12 snowflakes trembling in their pointe shoes. After the snow pas de deux, it’s our turn to go flake about onstage. I won’t lie, the first show wasn’t great… I ended winded and exhausted, relieved to have it over with. But by the evening show and the following day’s matinee I finally started to find some joy in it. You start to feel the magic… and realize that you’re living the dreams of many a younger (and even older) student whose hopes and dreams are pinned on one day being able to perform as a snowflake. I didn’t have a single show where I “nailed it” but, then again, I don’t think any of us did. But we made it through, no major errors, no snowflakes ended up sitting on their derrières in the middle of a snowdrift. I count that as a success!

Then it was off to get ready for the land of sweets. Off with the tiaras (and hopefully most of the snowflakes that clung to our shellacked noggins… I’m still finding flakes in my car, my dance bag, etc.). I replaced mine with a big blue jewel in the middle of my forehead. The romantic tutu from flakes is traded for a midriff-baring blue velvet top and blue harem pants. The pointe shoes (hallelujah!) are traded for soft slippers. After the Spanish hot chocolate dancers finish we’re on. The dance was probably the easiest (and the shortest) of my three, plus I didn’t have to paste on a big grin. Less stress for me! Other that the fact that my two Arabian children who were supposed to stand in front of me never seemed to end up in the right place until the final show, all went well there.

Then it’s off to switch out the blue jeweled headpiece for a flower in my bun and I’m back into a romantic tutu in pink. Run back upstairs and wait for the gingerbread cookies to finish up (so damned cute!) and back out onstage as a flower. Other than one section where I and two of my fellow dancers have to haul ass to get to our spots on time (and try to suppress our giggles while doing so) it went well. We did have one exploding dragonfly headpiece incident which led to beads on the stage which was terrifying for all of us, particularly knowing that our Dewdrop was heading out to do her fouette turns, but thankfully tragedy was avoided.

As is the way with these things, the shows seemed to get progressively better and by the time it starts to get fun and you want to do it a million more times it’s over. Ah well. An enjoyable experience overall. While I feel like Nut is way overdone and would love to see us put on a different kind of Christmas show (as a kid I danced with a studio that did The Little Matchgirl once… that was cool), it is nice to finally be able to say that I’ve performed in it. A rite of passage, of sorts.

I came, I saw (did), and I got the t-shirt. Literally. And now I enjoy the holiday break! And try to finish up Christmas prep!

DancerEats – Or, uh, DancerDrinks! The Winter Beverage Edition

One of the things I love about this season is the plethora of delicious winter-/Christmas-themed hot beverages that make their way into our favorite (or not so favorite) overpriced coffee chains. I’m not a big S***b****s addict, but I definitely manage to work in a few trips between Thanksgiving and New Years to indulge in a gingerbread or eggnog latte, salted caramel hot chocolate, or peppermint mocha.

Funny story about the eggnog latte (stop me if you’ve heard this one before)… a long time ago in a prior career my company had a coffee shop that served Mermaid coffee (I know she’s a siren, but mermaid sounds better). Which included — in the Christmas season — eggnog lattes. One day I walked in to the little shop and the barista behind the counter asked, “Eggnog latte?” and started to prepare it before the door swung shut behind me. Oh, noes! I had become That Girl! The one who orders the same thing every day! Cut off! Or perhaps I just scoped out maps of all the Mermaid coffee locations within easy walking distance of my office so I could go to a different one each day to get my fix. If there’s anything I detest, it’s being predictable!

I eventually broke my habit, but not my love for the stuff, and you can guarantee that at least once during the season I’ll indulge in one of these.

But we all know that these delicious drinks are not only calorie bombs, but — at nearly $5 for a small (or, ahem, a “tall”) — your money will be hemorrhaging out of your wallet faster than you can stop the bleed. I’d like to say that the calorie count is what stops me from buying more of these, but ultimately it’s the money. I can get around the calories by saying, well, if I ONLY have a latte for lunch, then it’s okay, Consuming 400 calories worth of sugar, caffeine, and milkfat might not be the BEST use of my lunch allotment, but whatevs. Dropping that kind of cash, though… ouch. So I’m always excited to find ways around expensive coffee with equally tasty results.

So without further ado, here are some of my favorite seasonal indulgences.

Flavored coffee. Yes, I can hear you now saying, “Really, Rori, that’s the best you can come up with, flavored coffee?” But hear me out. (And if you’re one of those coffee purists who has told me that flavored coffees use the lowest quality beans and whatnot, fine, all the more for me, and you may ignore the rest of this section!) I’m a Keurig girl myself. I may or may not have assorted K-cups crammed in every spare nook and cranny of my kitchen/pantry. If it’s variety you’re looking for, you’ll not want in my house! It’s slightly obscene. I’ve acquired a nice selection of holiday flavors within that impending avalanche. Green Mountain Coffee makes gingerbread and spicy eggnog and of course I still have plenty of pumpkin spice left from autumn. They also make a “Winter” (as opposed to “Holiday”) flavor called Golden French Toast… aka, amazingness in a cup. Totally drool-worthy. Timothy’s makes a Winter Carnival (which is described as having the flavors of vanilla, caramel, and custard… mmmm, custard) as well as Sugar Bush Maple (okay, that’s a spring flavor, not winter, but we’ll let it slide). A couple weeks ago I discovered another holiday coffee, this one from Van Houtte: White Chocolate Mint. Much as I love peppermint mochas and the like I had some reservations about this one, but needn’t have bothered. Yum-mie. And when I’m looking for a seasonal hot beverage not of the coffee variety, Green Mountain also makes a hot apple cider K-cup which is quite tasty.

My sick obsession... keep in mind, this is just a selection of the variety in my possession!

Lattes. Now, admittedly a regular old cup of joe, no matter the flavor, can never quite convey the richness of a latte. I mean, I can get a little heavy-handed on the half-and-half at times, but even so… So what do I do when the spicy eggnog coffee isn’t scratching those eggnog latte cravings? Well, first one must get some ‘nog! I prefer the light variety myself… love the flavor of eggnog, but I tend to cut even the light stuff with plain milk (or, uh, rum) to make it a bit less cloying. I brew a cup of medium or dark roast coffee in a large mug so there’s plenty of headroom, then fill it up with maybe a quarter-cup of eggnog. This gives more of the eggnog latte flavor and richness, but again, way cheaper, and healthier. Even with full-test eggnog, you’ll still come out ahead on the calories and fat since you’re not ingesting, you know, a full 8 ounces of the stuff. Now, I don’t know if this is a regional thing or what, but there have also been a number of odd eggnog flavors popping up in recent years around here. Vanilla’s been around for a while (a personal fave), but I’ve also seen cinnamon, gingerbread, pumpkin, and sugar cookie. The sugar cookie one is vile. Seriously. Steer clear. I don’t think I’ve actually tried the others, but I would imagine that you could use them in your coffee as well for that gingerbread or pumpkin latte flavor.

Faux eggnog latte ingredients

Hot Chocolate. Don’t know if you’ve read the news, but apparently chocolate milk in the new post-workout recovery drink of choice. Yum! Works for me! I figure that hot chocolate is just a heated up version of the same. Totally have to go for the hot milk variety, though. The instant, just add hot water stuff is okay in a pinch, but the hot milk variety is where it’s at. I just pour milk in a mug, toss it in the microwave (which conveniently has an idiot-proof “Beverage” button) and add the good stuff once it’s heated. Lots of tasty choices out there. Ghirardelli Ground Chocolate (in the baking aisle) is a good option. I’m also a fan of Penzeys, which makes both regular and mint hot chocolate mix. There are other drinking chocolates out there and you can even use regular cocoa powder and sugar in a pinch. I like to spice my HC up with a little ground cinnamon and a teensy dash of chili powder. A dash of almond or vanilla extract is also quite nice, as is hunting around the liquor cabinet for some cherry brandy, Irish cream, Kahlua or whatever your favorite poison to pair with chocolate. Now THAT’S something you won’t find at your chain coffee shop!

Better than coffeehouse hot chocolate!

I realize we have not discussed tea… or for that matter marzipan! Or candy canes! Hey, you didn’t think I’d get out of here without a Nut reference did you?! But hopefully this will be enough to keep you warm through these darkest days of the year (on this half of the world, anyway!).

DancerEats – Mediterranean Salad

Decided to start a new category of dance posts: DancerEats!

I anticipate that these posts will generally fall into one of two categories: I-Am-A-Dancer-My-Body-Is-A-Temple and I-Am-A-Dancer-Therefore-I-Can-Justify-Consuming-[Dessert-Booze-Grease-Etc.]. I strive for balance in my life. This is the line I choose to balance on.

So, the first of these — surprisingly, for me — falls into the former category. Rare, but hey, I can start off giving you the impression that I’m all healthy and stuff (I am a nurse, gotta portray some sort of decorum). Just don’t be surprised when I start rambling on about fudge and cookies and ice cream.

Being A) single and B) in dance class a few nights a week, I’m not a big dinner-maker. I’ve been known to call a beer and a bowl of popcorn dinner. Hey, it happens. But one thing I do enjoy is making a large dish that will last a few meals, particularly if it’s delish. Nothing better than knowing there’s something yummy already made waiting for you.

Today, I present you with Mediterranean Orzo Salad with Feta Vinaigrette.

I found this one on the Cooking Light website. Love Cooking Light. Surprising… because I refuse to eat any sort of artificial sweetener (including “natural” artificial sweetener), artificial butter-like substances, artificial meat products. I’d rather do without than eat that crap (no offense if you indulge in that stuff…). But this magazine is remarkably talented at providing recipes that are “healthier” (sometimes I have my doubts) but still made with real food and actually delicious.

This one plays right into my love of Mediterranean food. I may be of northern European heritage, but Greek and Italian food makes me drool. Olives. Feta. Artichoke hearts. Pasta. Yummmm.

The combo in this salad is delish. Got the orzo for pasta yumminess (could easily be made with other pastas, but the rice-like shape of the orzo mixes nicely with the other ingredients). The veggies provide an excellent balance of sweet (sun-dried tomatoes), salty (Kalamata olives), zing (red onion), and butteriness (artichoke hearts) while the spinach gives it some substance. I loved the idea of using the artichoke marinade as the dressing. Makes it simple and adds flavor without overpowering the individual ingredients. And feta. Mmm… cheese.

If you were looking for an additional protein boost you could easily add in some chopped marinated grilled chicken (or steak). But even without this still clocks in at nearly 12 grams of protein per serving… and only 340 calories or so and over 5 grams of fiber. Not bad for a side (or, if you’re me, a meal… I’m a nosher). As a dancer, I also worry about how things will sit with my stomach if I eat this before class. Tomato products aren’t always the best for me, but with the sweetness and concentrated flavor of the sundried tomatoes, this one wouldn’t likely cause a problem. The seasoning is also mild enough to not cause gastric issues during barre!

This meal will keep for a couple days assuming you’ve used fresh ingredients. If you had concerns, you could mix it up without the spinach and just add at the time of the meal, but I find spinach holds up better in prepared salads than lettuces and such. Also, I would recommend saving the step of reserving part of the feta to sprinkle over top of the servings. I mixed it all right in. Even if you were serving this for a real Dinner (as opposed to my tossed-around-in-the-lunch-bag meal) I don’t think it would necessarily add much to the presentation. Save yourself the pain of washing another measuring cup.

Looking forward to tossing some of my foodiness into my blog. Hope you enjoy! Until next time.

As the Pointe Turns

Funny how you can not notice something is wrong in a relationship until you find something better. A relationship with your POINTE SHOES for goodness’ sake! What did you think I was talking about?

Ah, pointes. Romantic and heartbreaking at the same time.

From the Russian Pointe Rubins I learned that just because a shoe is pretty does not mean that it will work for you. The combination of glue and shank and the general shape of the shoe just didn’t cut it. There were long conversations, many Google searches to see if anything could be done to make it work, but once I started developing bruises I was out!

I briefly considered going back to the Chacott Veronese II since I’d worn them before and didn’t remember anything particularly wrong with them. They are comfortable. Kind of endearing in their quirky way. But didn’t exactly pull equal weight in the relationship. They were just kind of there. Friendly enough, but no passion, no drive and no long-term potential.

Then I went and got some professional pointe shoe matchmaking advice which led me to the Bloch Heritage. I have discovered something with Bloch pointes from multiple fittings (and in this case, wearing them for an extended period of time). I lovelovelove the shanks. And I hatehatehate the boxes. I want it to work. I want to believe that they make a box that doesn’t hurt my toes. I want to believe that we could one day dance off into the sunset. But until that day I think we’ll just have to admire one another from afar. Unrequited love.

My matchmaker also led me to the Grishko Ulanova I and after some initial doubts we had a nice long, sweaty date at the barre one day during technique class and seemed to be getting along quite well. Had I found the one?! We definitely had some fun and I ignored some of the signs of impending doom. The weird clicking sensation I’d get when rising from demi- to full pointe on my left foot. The fact that I was constantly stopping to tighten the drawstring. I sent the matchmaker a picture of us together hoping for raves and instead got the news that the Ulanovas were swallowing my feet whole. Stifling my aspirations. Okay, she didn’t actually say that. But did say that they were too wide and I should consider something narrower with perhaps a lower profile. Hopefully we can stay friends.

But see, I really thought that I might be on to something with the Grishkos in general. Maybe the Ulanova I wasn’t quite right, but I wanted to keep going down that path. Which led me to the 2007s. When I compared the two I realized how much the Ulanovas resembled boats on my feet. Yikes. How did I not see that before? The 2007s look like part of my foot. They fit like a glove! When I pointe my foot the shank just hugs the sole of my foot. Who doesn’t love a good hug? The platform isn’t as flat as the Ulanova, but I’m now seeing that might be a good thing since I think the platform was allowing me to sit in the shoe and not work through the ankle as I should. Hm. I still feel stable on the 2007s, but with more freedom, somehow.

Gonna take it slow, I think. Been burned too many times. But I’m cautiously optimistic. Got a big thing coming up next month. Gotta wear my ballerina shoes in public. Think I’m gonna ask the 2007s, see how they weather the (Snow)storm.

Will the 2007s be a match made in heaven? Or will I be tempted by yet another pair of shoes? Stay tuned.

Ballet-iversary and Giving Thanks

Last week marked my one-year anniversary of my return to ballet. I clearly remember my trepidation that first class I attended… I had e-mailed the director a week or two prior, had purchased a pair of pink tights and a new leotard, and psyched myself up. I arrived early to the adult beginner class and wandered around the building for a few minutes trying to figure out where the studios were even located. When I finally found it and ventured in I was afraid I’d take someone’s barre spot by accident or that the class would be populated with Dance Bitches. Luckily neither of those was the case. One of the veterans very kindly introduced herself and I hid away in the corner. Balancing in sous-sus was a challenge. My developpes were sad and lurked somewhere below 90 degrees. The ballet vocabulary that was once so familiar sounded foreign. I could barely walk for a week afterwards. But I knew I’d be back the following week… and the next… and the next.

Now… my balance has improved tremendously. My extension is over 90 degrees (not quite as high as I’d like, but significant progress). There are still some things that elude me from my previous ballet days (beating jumps being one of them), but the terms have come back to me for the most part. I have gone from one beginner class per week to two intermediate classes plus one mixed intermediate-advanced class (with the teens) and pointe (not to mention the other styles I’ve started taking at the same studio). I’ve performed in a concert of new choreography, a recital, and one (soon to be two) full-length ballets. The room full of strangers has become a room full of familiar faces and I am even in on some inside jokes now. Hard to imagine my life without ballet in it… and even if I wanted to drop it I would be heckled by my classmates for skipping out. So that’s kind of nice.

And since this week was also Thanksgiving in the US, I wanted to take a moment to give thanks for what ballet has brought to my life.

Firstly I’m thankful that I found a studio in our relatively rural area (I’m in a city, but it’s not a City, if you know what I mean) that offers adults the opportunity to take “real” ballet as opposed to “ballet-fit” classes or “dancer workout” classes. That and it offers these classes multiple times a week! And pointe! Along with that, I’m thankful that the studio is affiliated with a ballet company whose mission includes giving adults performance opportunities, beyond character roles.

Secondly I’m thankful that ballet helps maintain my sanity. Just prior to returning to ballet I’d taken a new job… which did not turn out to be what I’d hoped it would be. I’m still slogging through trying to figure out my game plan, but it’s been nice to have ballet to look forward to, whether it be class or rehearsals. It gives me a bright spot in my day, and when I’m in the studio the annoyances in the rest of my life simply fade to the background. It keeps me from wallowing on the couch at the end of the day… good for my mental AND physical health!

Thirdly, I’m thankful that this journey introduced me to a whole world of ballet-o-philes, especially the bloggers. There’s nothing that excites me more than seeing an e-mail notifying me that Adult Beginner, the Melancholy Swan, or Leotards and the Buns in Them has written a new post, or scrolling through my Facebook feed to see that Pointe ‘Til You Drop or Tights & Tiaras has posted something. To think that back when I quit ballet, blogging was practically unheard of and MZ was still in high school. When I stumbled upon this community out there I was amazed at how many adults there are in the ballet studio and made me feel a little less silly about getting back in the game. It’s been a great source of information, commiseration, and laughs.

And finally, I’m thankful that I can still do this. While I get frustrated that the dancer in my imagination is far more talented than my given body, I have a whole heck of a lot more respect for what it can do than I ever did as a young dancer (what is it they say, too soon old, too late smart?). I might not be great and ballet will never be easy or natural, but you know what, I do alright. If nothing else I look at some of the roles the director has cast me in and I figure, well, I can’t be too terrible if she feels I can handle this stuff. And it’s not like this is the end of the line. I’ll keep working, pushing, setting new goals. It’s exciting to think that even though I’m not a kid and I’ll never get an opportunity to be pre-pro, let alone pro, I can still see improvements and progress. It’s not as obvious as the improvements of the first few months, but it’s there and I can keep setting new goals and strive for more turns, higher extensions, increased strength, etc.

Here’s to many more years!

Of Moons and Turtles

If I ever had a bunch of cash burning a hole in my pocket (and I mean a BUNCH of cash, like, I’ve paid off all my debts, have enough to live on for the rest of my life, take care of my people, and STILL had a large wad left over) I would love to fund something that would bring free art to the masses. And since it’s me and my (hypothetical) large wad of cash, I’d probably lean towards making it free dance to the masses! Because I love dance. In case you didn’t pick up on that already.

Luckily, even though that day has yet to dawn, there are others out there who have done that exact sort of thing and I was lucky enough to be a beneficiary of it! Area theater was hosting a free dance concert which, coincidentally, was a group that I had seen almost exactly one year ago, mere days before I made my return to ballet. Come to think of it, that show ended up being free, too! Though that was free because some kind soul couldn’t use all her tickets and left them at the booth with instructions to give them away. The ticket booth girl was simply kind enough to give one to me. This show was free for all!

I figured what better way to celebrate my ballet-versary than to, uh, skip ballet class and go see this!? Well, in an ideal world they would’ve been performing on a day that I didn’t have ballet, but what can you do? I can make up ballet classes, but if I miss a performance it’s gone forever.

So I snagged a friend and we met up for some pub grub prior to the show (hot spiced rummy cider, some sort of potatoey, cheesey, puffy goodness, and a great big burger… yum). Bolstered by our delicious noms, we headed down the street to the theater. Un peu tard. (Being a bit late sounds far more sophisticated in French.) Apparently we may have lingered over our beverages a bit long… and underestimated the distance between the pub and the theater. Luckily the ushers were quite kind about it and, though we didn’t get our assigned seats (they give them away after a certain amount of time) there was plenty of space for us to sit without causing a major ruckus.

On stage? Luna Negra Dance Theatre of Chicago. Not ballet, for you ballet-o-philes out there; they bill themselves as performers of contemporary Latino dance. But, like most contemporary dance groups, the performers clearly have a strong technical background. Absolutely amazing.

We walked in in the middle of Solo una Vez choreographed by Luis Eduardo Sayago. Bummed we missed the first half and hadn’t had a chance to read the program to see what the story was supposed to be about, but what we saw was great, and I particularly enjoyed the fact that the last piece was performed to Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” which, you may or may not have known, was actually part of the incidental music for A Midsummer Night’s Dream, i.e. music I recently danced to in our summer ballet! Their dance was quite a different take on it, but thoroughly enjoyable. Found this clip of Luna Negra rehearsing this piece to give you a little taste:

Then intermission #1. As I looked around the room I felt like we represented a very odd demographic in that crowd. We were neither elderly nor parents with kids in tow. Oh well, we were enjoying it.

Lights down, curtain opens, and onstage is Turtle Island String Quartet! They entertained us with some string quartet versions of Hendrix. For some reason I just love string versions of rock music; it’s an entertaining dichotomy. They stayed on stage to accompany the next piece, Danzón, choreographed by the group’s founder, Eduardo Vilaro. I’ve seen people dance with a piano on stage before, but this was the first time I’ve seen dance with a string quartet. I was slightly afraid for the quartet’s safety, but they made it through just fine. The costuming was interesting for this piece. The women were in burgundy leotards and what I can only describe as gray culottes. Yes. Culottes. Yikes. Wasn’t a big fan. The men were in sheer burgundy shirts and black pants. Much more attractive. Can’t find a good video of it online, but amazing. The entire company performs this piece and it’s just incredible how fluid they are. Every move leads into the next move. And I love dancers who can go from a quadruple pirouette and then just stop on a dime.

Intermission #2.

Then the final piece, Flabbergast by Gustavo Ramirez Sansano. I had seen them perform this last year and I loved it then. Loved it still, though for some reason, slightly less so than last year. Perhaps just because I was farther away from the stage than when I saw it the first time. Still, they manage to make the audience feel that they are part of the dance somehow. There is one section where the house lights come on and the dancers all look at the audience as if to say, “Who the heck are these people?” The whole piece had kind of a ’50s feel to me, maybe because of the costuming and props. The women wore adorable little shirt-dresses, the men in short-sleeved shirts and pants or shorts looking the role of traveler or tourist. They make liberal use of old hard-sided suitcases, but manage to work the props in as if they were dancing themselves. Then at one point a silvery fringe drops down. I saw one review referring to this as a “tropical hiding place.” I interpreted it as a subway car. Who knows. I can’t say that there’s a sure plot going on here, but there are definitely snippets of stories that interweave throughout which were altogether hilarious. I remembered how I felt when I first saw them last year… how amazing it was that they could dance so powerfully, graceful yet explosive, and in the midst of it all you find yourself smiling and laughing. It’s funny, yo! And makes me want to get up and dance. Found this (not great quality) snippet online:

String quartet, contemporary dance, free… alllll good